the wolf is a hunter, the cloud is a floater

.love.

Mon, 21 Jan 2008 23:59:39 GMT

Ohhhh..I wish I could be live life five times over. Then, I'd live in five different cities; I'd stuff myself full with different delicious things five times each; I'd have five different jobs...and then for those five times...I'd fall in love with the same person. - Inoue Orihime, page 17-18, Bleach Chapter 237

Rejection changes nothing.

{02 revised}

Mon, 31 Dec 2007 07:46:10 GMT

drabble, pg?

it was quiet, and dark.

outside, the lights flickered on and off, and the cat prowled about the couch. its realm was undisturbed, save for the mouse in the corner. the mouse was staring into the quietude of the rear of the sofa, squeaking ever so slightly in order to disrupt the echoing silence. apprehension? perhaps.

at the end of the corridor, through darkness that draped the walls in blackness and seething beauty, was a room with lights that cast shadows of not only objects, but souls. those souls were in love, and it was young.

she held him tightly against her own form, clothed by a large t-shirt and jeans. he grinned, reflecting her beautiful green eyes against the slight yellow of his teeth. suddenly, he perched his head on top of her own, and held her tighter. she was surprised; never had affection come in such a great quantity, but she accepted it and held him tight too, her ring burying itself deep into the skin, leaving a temporary imprint.

"what's up?" she asked, and she would be laughing a second later.

"nothing. i just hope i don't lose this happiness; this fire in my heart; that i don't lose you. i hope it can spread around the house...it's so dead now that mom and dad have been gone for so long."

laughter echoed through the halls, startling the cat and giving the mouse a great escape into the murky shadows, and making the curtains of the corridor some life.

the laughter ended, and the statement rung true.

"i love you too."

---

she's older now, and it's a rainy day. what a cliche, she says to herself. but she doesn't say anything out loud, really. only says it to herself and the empty house.

she's staring at it, the clear raindrops striking every part of those white planks -- what a perfect house, she cried and embraced her husband with all the passion she could muster as he laughed and kissed her -- and those gray tiles on the roof -- the two of them stared up at the sky, their body splayed out against the rough tiles while reaching out to the little hand that shook with the screaming laughter of a child -- and the porch and...it was too much.

she felt herself getting sick, sick with nostalgia, sick with memory, sick with everything that hadn't ever touched her skin before. most of all, she was sick of the fire that still pumped in her heart, but burned coldly now, without heat and without tangibility.

the fire, that had given her blood life all those years ago.

the fire, that had burned with every pleasure (whether in or out of the bed).

the fire, which had reared a child that was now attending a school so far away that she had forgotten how many miles she had traveled every year to see him.

the fire, which had spread from their hearts, and burned down the house, tearing away at the insides; leaving everything black and everything white outside, ironically enough. that fire, which had killed -

she stopped there. her lips pursed tightly together.

she remembered these past few years of misery, how they'd swallowed her life. how they'd taken her soul and tore it apart, never letting go with the constant presence of dreams. dreams that always ended in that inferno of madness, wrenching her away from her better judgment and sanity into white lines of hallucinatory joy. and then she began to think about how she didn't have any regrets, and her mind flashed to her son.

her son made something click in her head, and suddenly...

she stopped wasting her time.

she turned her head up to the rain, and swallowed the water. her doubt and desperation was great, but so was her will.

i hope you can extinguish me, because i need someone to see the smoke, the last part of the cold heat thought.

"i never really wanted to lose you, either," she said emphatically. "but you're gone. i was always the realist, and now's the time for me to be who i am. not the dreamer, not the one who leaves her soul in the past, but one who lives in the present."

she walked into the house, smiling slightly. she needed to see everything one last time. after this, she was going to begin anew. all these years...one last time wouldn't hurt.

she moved to the room where they used to live, and touched the fire eaten doorframe. she looked at the pile of ash that was now the bed, and saw something glint in white powder. bending downward, her dainty fingers clasped the shiny object and shook it free of burnt stuff.

his ring.

as her eyes widened and clenched with her fists oh so suddenly, the dying flames of emptiness became a phoenix from the ashes, becoming their sorrowful whole and overtaking her mind with their wings.

in that very same moment, the house groaned and shuddered without warning before collapsing into a heap of wet wood, memories, and fire.

[03]

Mon, 31 Dec 2007 07:05:47 GMT

bleach drabble, pg

It's dark out, and the stars pulse on behind those billowy clouds of calm rain, rumbling thunder and occasional lightning. Spiritual energy gathers in fingers, clawing at every building, every wall, every breath, every kiss; nothing escapes. It feels so empty, but to those who can move themselves against it feel stifled.

Ichigo certainly cannot stand it, but he can ignore it for now for he is lost in the moment, a small figure pressing tightly against him with the ache of pleasure and subconscious sensations of memories of her dead captain. Neither can Chad, who forces his way through it by firing one cero after another at those pesky Hollows. Adjhucas, he notes, are frustrating...but he will allow his friends to have their night. Urahara is there too, watching Chad's progress with his powers and silently watching in case the full forms disappear. Hueco Mundo is so different, the shopkeeper notes, that it would be most prudent to see if one month's return and eerie lack of Hollow attacks has changed anything in the development of "el brazo derecha del giganto y el brazo izquierda del diablo."

Orihime sits in her chair, her thin gown wispy and clinging to the wrinkles of the sofa. She is spooning into her ice cream, the red-bean and mustard combo conforming quietly to the silver. The TV blathers on in the background almost incessantly, but its volume drops low when he speaks.

"How is your ice cream?" He asks, and she responds as always.

"Very nice, would you like some?" Orihime says, and she pushes her spoon towards him. One month of friendship changes everything, and by that reason the bespectacled boy eats straight from the utensil without taking it himself. She always giggles when it happens, and when she does as always he swallows. In his mind, the sweetness registers but it does not penetrate the heavy weariness of training.

"It’s delicious, as always.” He says, and the end dips off into somber tones. The gain, today, is more arrows, another level of power, but nothing about the past. Ishida sighs, and looks up at the ceiling – his interest in his father now, under examination, seems awkward and unprecedented.

She tilts her head, and observes him with a careful eye. His demeanor is different than usual, so different from all those times of cool confidence, different from serenity, different from normal tiredness…this time, something almost like sadness and defenselessness. Orihime’s wide eyes stare at him, their gaze unending and she remembers that Ishida is a strange creature that requires a different kind of approach.

In one sweeping moment, glasses become skewed, a dress shirt ruffles, a face turns red and silence begins its infestation of the living space. Sudden movement stops and the Quincy finds his head against a shoulder that presses his glasses uncomfortably high…a hug. He untangles himself, mouth agape in disbelief, and turns back to the television. Tension rides along threads of words unsaid, and retraces its steps many times over.

Ishida finds himself wanting to speak, but loses his words when his best friend slides her figure downward, against the side of his body. He understands, in that moment, that things are sometimes better left lying in your throat, forever unreleased. From those thoughts he drags orange locks to his shoulder, where she lays her head in the crook that always feels meant for her. An arm reaches behind shoulder blades, and soon bony fingers grip tightly a shoulder that reciprocates warmth.

“Do you want some ice cream, Ishida-kun?”

“I’m…fine, thanks.” And suddenly, he holds her closer.

fin

[SICK AND TIRED OF THIS.]

Thu, 01 Nov 2007 01:47:08 GMT

Media, stop.

Manhunt 2 obsession?

There are countless R rated movies you could be criticizing.

But why don't you hate on those?

"They're made for adults."

Video games =/= only for kids

Well, Manhunt 2? IS RATED M.

M FOR MATURE.

M FOR 17+. YOU KNOW, AROUND THE AGE WHERE WE "BECOME AN ADULT"?

Look, the ESRB? Is responsible for informing parents. They've done their job. It's the parents' job to pay attention to this information, and if they don't pay attention it's the ESRB's fault? That's like saying the MPAA gives you an R rating and all the "bad" parts of the movie, you let your kid go and you blame it on the MPAA. It doesn't work like that.

"Video games are an interactive form of violence; a simulation." That I can accept. But as a more interactive stimulus, won't it also help to serve as a tool to show why people shouldn't kill? It's so brutal. That's what kids "should" be thinking. But if they don't, it's wrong of the game, right? Haha, right. The typical American movie will have either sex or violence in it. If a kid that's watching one of these movies enjoys the violence, it's wrong of the movie? I'm not saying that the average parent can't dislike video games. What I'm saying that is that it's completely irrational to apply standards to video games that aren't applied to the film industry.

JESUS' NUTSACK, PLEASE GRANT THE MEDIA THE WISDOM TO ACTUALLY THINK.

Also, media, way to sensationalize this. I bet that if you did a story on Mario Galaxy and sensationalized it -- oh wait, you wouldn't, that's right. Because in this world, no one ever presents "equal" evidence; no one ever reports both sides -- OH WAIT. THAT'S YOUR JOB, ISN'T IT? STOP GIVING VIDEO GAMES A BAD NAME WHILE MOVIES AREN'T GIVEN THE SAME.

{02}

Mon, 29 Oct 2007 00:17:47 GMT

it was quiet, and dark.

outside, the lights flickered on and off, and the cat prowled about the couch. its realm was undisturbed, save for the mouse in the corner. the mouse was staring into the quietude of the sofa's back, squeaking ever so slightly. apprehension? perhaps.

at the end of the corridor, through darkness that draped the walls in blackness and seething beauty, was a room with lights that cast shadows of not only objects, but souls. those souls were in love, and it was young.

she held him tightly against her own form, clothed by a large t-shirt and jeans. he grinned, reflecting her beautiful green eyes against the slight yellow of his teeth. suddenly, he perched his head on top of her own, and held her tighter. she was surprised; never had affection come in such a great quantity, but she accepted it and held him tight too, her ring burying itself deep into the skin, leaving a temporary imprint.

"what's up?" she asked, and she would be laughing a second later.

"nothing. i just hope i don't lose this happiness; this fire in my heart; that i don't lose you. i hope it can spread around the house, it's so dead now that mom and dad have been gone for so long."

it echoed through the halls, startling the cat and giving the mouse a great escape into the murky shadows, and making the curtains of the corridor some life.

---

she's older now, and it's a rainy day. what a cliche, she says to herself. but she doesn't say anything out loud, really. only says it to herself and the empty house.

she's staring at it, the clear raindrops striking every part of those white planks -- what a perfect house, she cried and embraced her husband with all the passion she could muster as he laughed and kissed her -- and those gray tiles on the roof - the two of them stared up at the sky, their body splayed out against the rough tiles while reaching out to the little hand that shook with the screaming laughter of a child -- and the porch and...it was too much.

she felt herself getting sick, sick with nostalgia, sick with memory, sick with everything that hadn't ever touched her skin before. most of all, she was sick of the fire that still pumped in her heart, but burned coldly now, without heat and without tangibility.

the fire, that had given her blood life all those years ago.

the fire, that had burned with every moan and tight grasp.

the fire, which had reared a child who was now attending school so far away that she had forgotten how many miles she had traveled every year to see him.

the fire, which had spread from their hearts, and burned down the house, tearing away at the insides; leaving everything black and everything white outside, ironically enough. that fire, which had...had...had k-

she turned her head up to the rain, and swallowed the water.

i hope you can extinguish me, because i need someone to see the smoke.

"i never really wanted to lose you, either," she said instead. "but you're gone. i was always the realist, and now's the time for me to be who i am. not the dreamer, not the one who leaves her soul in the past, but one who lives in the present."

she walked into the house, smiling slightly. she needed to see everything one last time. after this, she was going to begin anew. all these years she had spent pining after him...they had done nothing to help her.

she moved to the room where they used to live, and touched the fire eaten doorframe. she looked at the pile of ash that was now the bed, and saw something glint in white powder. bending downward, her dainty fingers clasped the shiny object and shook it free of burnt stuff.

his ring.

as her eyes widened and clenched with her fists oh so suddenly, the house groaned and shuddered without warning before collapsing into a heap of wet wood, memories, and fire.

{01}

Mon, 22 Oct 2007 04:04:35 GMT

he placed his hand on the window sill, moving the base of his palm ever so gently against the cool stone. its bold white color bore the signs of weariness, and yet...a warmth, among the cracks and grains.

it was empty, the house. una casa vacia. he never forgot this, throughout all of his life; that his house, the one sitting in the corner of the countryside, 'neath skies of cloudy swirls and floating colors and rain and snow.

una casa vacia, que solamente tiene una persona.

he stopped, and the brushing sound stopped. the moan of wind stooped and waned, fluttering into the house as naught but a breeze, at the final breath and hour of its life. that final hint of wind gave the boy sitting at the window his last breath, pumping all the life it contained into his cells and becoming useless.

"i'm...lonely. but world, even though i've been living lonely for these past few hours thanks to what you've given me....i love you."

he died in a pool of blood trickling from others' arteries that always gave themselves to him and yet could give so little to stop the death that came to them.

[scrubs]

Sun, 21 Oct 2007 02:57:11 GMT

Alright, this is really starting to piss me off.

People are now either cheering or ranting about the loss of wavedashing in Super Smash Brothers Brawl.

The cheering doesn't really bother me that much, as sometimes it is good (e.g. it helps define Brawl as Brawl and not Melee 2.0), but the sheer level of stupidity that n00by ass scrubs display piss me off.

Wavedashing is a technique that involves an exploitation of the physics engine in order to produce a "dash". It is enacted by short hopping and performing an "airdodge" towards the ground. The forward momentum from the airdodge is interpreted by the game as a push against the ground that is moving forward, which means you're moving forward (according to the game). Depending on your traction, you move at different lengths. Wavedashing, to the common, more casual player, is not very tactically useful. All it is is a quicker version of a dash that doesn't really serve much purpose and isn't even the most important thing - the SHFFL is, but anyways...the wavedash is actually extremely useful. From the wiki:

While a character is sliding from a wavedash, he is considered by the game to be standing - thus, he can perform any ground attacks that could normally be performed from a standing position, such as smashes, standing grabs and jabs. He also retains all of his standing defensive maneuvers such as sidestepping and shielding. Wavedashing allows a character to move while still having available his ground options, a moving versatility dashing can't match.

Another advantage lies in the ability to wavedash backwards while facing forwards, which allows characters to perform standing attacks while moving both backwards and forwards.

Its strategic usefulness is also best explained in the wiki.

The thing about wavedashing is that it's a glitch, and its particularly hard to master. Thus, many players condemn it, ergo the players that use it. The problem with this opinion is that wavedashing is not a gamebreaking glitch - in fact, it takes a lot of strategy, and adds depth, just as the cancels from Street Fighter were a glitch! Imagine that :o People still manage to, however, call wavedashing a "cheap" tactic. This is ridiculous. Not only are you implying that wd'ing is easy to master (which it is NOT, I assure you), but that wd'ing is used by people who cannot win otherwise - something that is in direct contradiction with those who have mastered the game (look up ken, bombsoldier, masashi, aniki, isai, mew2king/m2k, pc chris, dashizwiz, forward, chudat, koreandj, captain jack, chillin, diesuperfly/dsf, king, drephen, luigi ka-master, hugs, 56k, anther, scotu, etc. along with ssbm in the youtube search bar and you'll see that these guys are AMAZING at the game). Most of these examples could clearly win without wd'ing - it just assists their game and adds DEPTH.

The removal of this glitch in SSBB by the changing of the airdodge to a momentum airdodge is fine with me. The airdodge, to explain further, now depends on previous momentum, so wavedashing doesn't work and thus a lot of parts of Melee that made it deep were removed. However, I'm confident that we will find new techniques as "advanced" players, and so are (most) of the people on Smashboards, the center of the advanced community. The problem, thus does not lie with us at all. The little scrublets are criticizing us and jeering at us and basically just being overall stupid about it. "lol no wavedashing!" "where's your wavedashing now?" "yay cheap tactic dead" "finally, the pros can get off their high chairs." All of these statements imply that we are ARROGANT. That is FALSE. We "advanced" from the same state as you, and encourage the increase of our fellow kind, as we represent a mere 1% of the Smash community. Even though we trash talk sometimes and make unruly jokes, think about the same situations in sports (don't tell me they're two different things, principle remains the same) - most sportsmen will help you improve, not try to downgrade you.

Overall, I'm just pissed at the overall stupidity. I make large generalizations in this post; feel free to correct me if you're a part of the "non-advanced" group/advanced group.

PS: If the possible removal of L-Cancelling (a technique that was purposely put in the game, not a glitch - it cuts the after-attack lag of aerial attacks, B-moves not included, in half; it was not in the demos people were playing at e4all but it might be because Nintendo set low time limits on the match and thus need faster games - ergo automatic L-Cancel) becomes perceived to be the actual removal, I will be super pissed with the people/group of people who say this.

[beginning]

Sun, 14 Oct 2007 15:48:27 GMT

...I've reset this journal.

I hope I'll post to this more, at least.

My internet name is Sui. I am 14 years old, living in the United States. I am Asian.

I possess a DS. I am prone to writing, drawing, enjoying close physical contact with the opposite gender, playing tennis, randomly voicing my thoughts, and overall just being a person who either is loved or hated.

I play hopeforivalicia at dramadramaduck.